So many good ones, we once pretended all of college football’s bowl season was sponsored by unlicensed Doctors Pepper:ĭr. Like fruit itself, this group is too chill for all that hostility. This is a fuzzy group, because how could someone claim to have invented drinking fruit? Fruit sodas have pretty good names, and I don’t think we can really accuse anybody of copying anybody in particular. Brown’s, Fitz’s, Jarritos, Cheerwine, Izze, and tons more. We also have Fanta, Sunkist, Slice, Tango, Bubble Up, Dr. Brown’s, Fentimans, Fitz’s, Foxon Park, Polar, Red Rock, Reed’s, Schweppes, Seagram’s, Sprecher, Stewart’s, Stoney, Sussex Golden, Vernors, Vess, and White Rock.Īncient origins, but among drinks still widely sold in America, Crush appears to be the oldest major brand. Again, just doing the Wiki thing:Īle-8-One, Barritt’s, Blenheim, Boylan, Buffalo Rock, Bundaberg, Canada Dry, Catawissa, Crabbie’s, Dr. Ginger aleĪllegedly of Northern Irish origin. yeah, people just usually call their versions “Lemon-Lime.” 4. Sprite (yep!), Kick, Mist Twist, Sierra Mist, and. Some of these are fine names, and the general style seems to be Named After Some White Guy, which is, well, on-brand for things that were just copied from indigenous peoples. Faygo, Filbert’s, Fitz’s, Frostie, Frostop, Goose Island, Grandpa Graf’s, Hank’s, Henry Weinhard’s, Hires, Hosmer Mountain, IBC, Jones, Mason’s, Mug, Nanton, Nehi, Point, The Pop Shoppe, Ramblin’, Saranac, Sarsi, Sea Dog, Shasta, Sioux City, Sprecher, Stewart’s, Ted’s, Thomas Kemper, Tommyknockers, Towne Club, Twin Lights, Virgil’s, White Rock, and Zevia. Here is Wikipedia’s list of root beer brands, and I’m not taking the time to remove all these links:ġ919, A&W, Abita, B&K, Barq’s, Barrelhead, Berghof, f Berks County, Big Ben’s, Blue Sky, Boylan, Bundaberg, Capt’n Eli’s, Chicago, Dad’s, Dog n Suds, Dominion, Dr. Invented long ago by Native Americans, meaning just about all store-bought brands are knockoffs. Ranked last, simply because it’s too many to pore through, and because most sellers just call their house brands “cola.” Sooo many of these over the last 130-something years, though, including King Cola, Koca-Nola, Koke, My-Coca-Co, Taka-Cola, RC, and Pepsi. I’m going by brands that have been readily available in the United States, recognizing that international markets also have many other incredible name variations.One great knockoff name alone will not be enough to carry a whole taxonomy to victory. Each soda family will be judged by the entirety of its poetry.I’ve attempted to pile all popular American soft drinks into seven genres.
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